Money wasn't the only thing I wasted at Angus Glen on Saturday. I also wasted my time. Then again, if I didn't waste it on the golf course, I'd be wasting it somewhere else, so what the hell.
Posting these results is getting to be embarrassing, so I'll keep it short:
I pulled most tee shots with the driver. Only a couple were pushed right.
I pulled a tee shot with the 3-wood en route to six over par on the tenth hole.
I pulled most approach shots with all irons. Only a couple were pushed right.
I made decent chips, with poor results.
I made decent putts, with poor results.
I made good decisions at times, but there was no reward.
I can no longer hit the 3-wood from the fairway. It used to be my best club.
I can not recover after a bad hole. You don't understand the rage.
Practice does not make perfect. Don't be gullible.
Good things do not come to those who wait.
Good guys do finish last. Always.
There is no justice. Only evil.
There is no Santa Claus. However, there are plenty of thieves, cheaters and liars.
You can't do whatever you set your mind to. However, you can be run over by a bus.
In the end, you will die and nobody will care.
Score: 111
Par: 72
Putts: 38
Fairways: 4
Greens: 2
July 26, 2008
July 22, 2008
Duffers' Rules Far Too Lax
I joined the Duffers' Dream Tour earlier this year and for the most part, it has been very enjoyable. The scheduling of rounds and the variety of courses suits me perfectly. In addition, organization of the league is good and the fees are reasonable. The size of the field on the weekday tour is modest, but this is okay since everyone can tee off within an hour of each other. The only thing I don't particularly like about the league are the peculiar rules it seems to employ.
The latest round at Hidden Lake really highlighted this issue. Prior to this round, I was only aware of a couple major deviations from the rules on the Duffers' Dream Tour. For balls that go out of bounds, players are allowed to take a one stroke penalty and drop a ball within two club lengths of the point where the original ball went out of bounds. Under the Rules of Golf, players would normally have to take a one stroke penalty and play a ball from the same location where the original ball was struck. The Duffers' Dream Tour also caps individual hole scores at twice the value of par. Both of these rule deviations are designed to speed up play, which is a worthy goal. They were communicated to me at the beginning of the season, so I don't really have a problem with them.
At Hidden Lake however, I became aware of a new twist. Playing the sixteenth hole on the New Course, a short par-4, one of my playing partners hit his tee shot well right of the fairway into some long fescue and trees. He then declared that he was hitting a provisional ball, which travelled well left of the fairway into more long fescue. We searched for his original ball for some time, with no luck. At that point, he declared that he would drop a ball at "point of entry" and take a one stroke penalty. He claimed that the Duffers' Dream Tour treated fescue as a lateral hazard, thereby permitting him to do this. After dropping a ball, he hit his third shot just off the green. After a chip and a putt, he marked a five on his scorecard.
This is such an abomination of the Rules of Golf, that I thought there was no way it would stand up. We brought it up to the league organizer at the end of the round and, to my absolute amazement, he let it stand. What??? According to the Rules of Golf, the player should have been hitting his fifth shot from the tee, because neither of his first two tee shots could be found. Instead, he scored five for the whole hole. That is a gift of at least three strokes, maybe more if he continued to struggle off the tee. To make matters worse, the same player used the same loophole to save strokes on another hole too. I'm sorry, but when you deviate this far from the rules, you are no longer playing golf, just a poor facsimile of it.
Even if you treat fescue as a lateral hazard (it's so ridiculous I feel silly saying it) then the player should have dropped where his second ball entered the fescue, because he declared that ball a provisional. The only way you can ignore a provisional ball is if you find the original. In this case, the player did not find the original, so he would have been laying four after his drop.
All of this was particularly annoying for two reasons. First of all, I had played five and a half rounds on the Duffers' Dream Tour without being told of this deviation from the rules. Had I known, I could have saved a few strokes myself along the way. Worse yet, at a previous round, I was denied relief from a cart path on a very harsh call. My tee shot landed in long fescue just right of the cart path. In addressing the ball, my feet were on the cart path, so I was allowed to drop the ball at the closest point of relief, no closer to the hole, with no penalty. In my estimation, the closest point of relief was the fairly tame rough on the opposite side of the cart path, but my partners insisted that the closest point of relief was backwards on the same side of the path where the fescue lay. It was extremely close and we probably needed a tape measure to settle it, but just to avoid the hassle, I played the ball where it lay. The point is, they were extremely picky in that situation. How then, do you explain the extremely lax attitude toward the situation at Hidden Lake?
In another bizarre decision, players at Hidden Lake were allowed to lift, clean, and place their balls through the green. Lift, clean, and place is allowed sometimes when a course is particularly soggy after heavy rainfall. We did have rain the day before, but the course was sufficiently dry that this was not necessary at all. In fact, it wasn't even necessary the day it actually rained. I know because I played the very same course on that day as part of the Deepwoods Tour. The kicker is that the Duffers' Dream Tour allowed players to lift, clean, and place anywhere on the course - even the rough! I have never seen this anywhere. It allows players who bury a ball in the rough to clean it off and prop it up nicely on the grass. Way too lax, is all I can say.
Bizarre rules aside, I had a pretty good round. My driving was still no good, as I was pulling everything off the tee left of target. However, my irons were decent, as was my putting.
Score: 93
Par: 71
Putts: 38
Fairways: 2
Greens: 7
The latest round at Hidden Lake really highlighted this issue. Prior to this round, I was only aware of a couple major deviations from the rules on the Duffers' Dream Tour. For balls that go out of bounds, players are allowed to take a one stroke penalty and drop a ball within two club lengths of the point where the original ball went out of bounds. Under the Rules of Golf, players would normally have to take a one stroke penalty and play a ball from the same location where the original ball was struck. The Duffers' Dream Tour also caps individual hole scores at twice the value of par. Both of these rule deviations are designed to speed up play, which is a worthy goal. They were communicated to me at the beginning of the season, so I don't really have a problem with them.
At Hidden Lake however, I became aware of a new twist. Playing the sixteenth hole on the New Course, a short par-4, one of my playing partners hit his tee shot well right of the fairway into some long fescue and trees. He then declared that he was hitting a provisional ball, which travelled well left of the fairway into more long fescue. We searched for his original ball for some time, with no luck. At that point, he declared that he would drop a ball at "point of entry" and take a one stroke penalty. He claimed that the Duffers' Dream Tour treated fescue as a lateral hazard, thereby permitting him to do this. After dropping a ball, he hit his third shot just off the green. After a chip and a putt, he marked a five on his scorecard.
This is such an abomination of the Rules of Golf, that I thought there was no way it would stand up. We brought it up to the league organizer at the end of the round and, to my absolute amazement, he let it stand. What??? According to the Rules of Golf, the player should have been hitting his fifth shot from the tee, because neither of his first two tee shots could be found. Instead, he scored five for the whole hole. That is a gift of at least three strokes, maybe more if he continued to struggle off the tee. To make matters worse, the same player used the same loophole to save strokes on another hole too. I'm sorry, but when you deviate this far from the rules, you are no longer playing golf, just a poor facsimile of it.
Even if you treat fescue as a lateral hazard (it's so ridiculous I feel silly saying it) then the player should have dropped where his second ball entered the fescue, because he declared that ball a provisional. The only way you can ignore a provisional ball is if you find the original. In this case, the player did not find the original, so he would have been laying four after his drop.
All of this was particularly annoying for two reasons. First of all, I had played five and a half rounds on the Duffers' Dream Tour without being told of this deviation from the rules. Had I known, I could have saved a few strokes myself along the way. Worse yet, at a previous round, I was denied relief from a cart path on a very harsh call. My tee shot landed in long fescue just right of the cart path. In addressing the ball, my feet were on the cart path, so I was allowed to drop the ball at the closest point of relief, no closer to the hole, with no penalty. In my estimation, the closest point of relief was the fairly tame rough on the opposite side of the cart path, but my partners insisted that the closest point of relief was backwards on the same side of the path where the fescue lay. It was extremely close and we probably needed a tape measure to settle it, but just to avoid the hassle, I played the ball where it lay. The point is, they were extremely picky in that situation. How then, do you explain the extremely lax attitude toward the situation at Hidden Lake?
In another bizarre decision, players at Hidden Lake were allowed to lift, clean, and place their balls through the green. Lift, clean, and place is allowed sometimes when a course is particularly soggy after heavy rainfall. We did have rain the day before, but the course was sufficiently dry that this was not necessary at all. In fact, it wasn't even necessary the day it actually rained. I know because I played the very same course on that day as part of the Deepwoods Tour. The kicker is that the Duffers' Dream Tour allowed players to lift, clean, and place anywhere on the course - even the rough! I have never seen this anywhere. It allows players who bury a ball in the rough to clean it off and prop it up nicely on the grass. Way too lax, is all I can say.
Bizarre rules aside, I had a pretty good round. My driving was still no good, as I was pulling everything off the tee left of target. However, my irons were decent, as was my putting.
Score: 93
Par: 71
Putts: 38
Fairways: 2
Greens: 7
July 20, 2008
Return to the New Course at Hidden Lake
Round 3 of the Deepwoods Tour went off on the New Course at Hidden Lake. My last few visits to Hidden Lake were on the Old Course, so it was nice to finally play the New Course again. In light drizzle, the first three holes went bogey, par, bogey. I hit a couple fairways and one green in that stretch, while putting was also solid.
Then the rain picked up and things got a little sketchy. I pulled my drive on hole #4, forcing me to punch a low 3-iron to get the ball back to the fairway. From 140 yards out, my 8-iron was a tad fat and I came up short. My chip also came up short, as the ball was in a very mushy area in front of the green. Putting from just off the green, I finished with a triple bogey. Even worse was the next hole, which I finished in 5 over par, thanks to two consecutive balls pulled straight off the tee.
On hole #6, a 149-yard par-3, I hit a lovely 7-iron flag high, then drained a 12-footer for birdie. Sweet! Another nice shot came on hole #7. My third shot drifted well right of the green, about 60 yards away. I hit a sand wedge over some extremely tall trees and landed pin high on the edge of the green. I made a solid two-putt to save bogey. After nine holes, I was sitting at 48. Not bad.
The tenth hole, a 383-yard par-4 was very frustrating. I hit a beautiful drive, leaving 150 yards to the pin. My 7-iron was flag high, but left of the green by about 15 yards. I had to keep the chip shot low to avoid hitting some tree branches. I was trying to land the ball in the rough about two yards before the green. That would have taken most of the speed off, allowing the ball to pop onto the green comfortably. Unfortunately, the ball carried a few yards too long, taking its first bounce on the green itself. It skidded across the entire green to the opposite rough. I then caught the next chip attempt thin, launching the ball back across the entire green. All of this led to a very unnecessary triple bogey.
On the eleventh hole, a 144-yard par-3, I hit a beautiful 8-iron to the pin, which was tucked in the extreme right portion of the green. I was in definite birdie range, but I hit the putt softly, coming up short. I settled for par. Holes twelve through fourteen were mediocre, resulting in double-bogey, bogey, and double-bogey. The double on #14 was tough to swallow, as my bogey putt was right on the money, but broke hard left at the very last second.
Holes fifteen through eighteen were very good, resulting in par, par, bogey, and par. I hit three fairways in that stretch, which set me up for decent finishes. On hole #17, my par putt barely missed, which was too bad. It would have been nice to finish with four pars in a row.
All in all, it was a good round. Despite pretty bad weather, I emerged with what I consider a respectable score.
Score: 93
Par: 71
Putts: 36
Fairways: 6
Greens: 5
Then the rain picked up and things got a little sketchy. I pulled my drive on hole #4, forcing me to punch a low 3-iron to get the ball back to the fairway. From 140 yards out, my 8-iron was a tad fat and I came up short. My chip also came up short, as the ball was in a very mushy area in front of the green. Putting from just off the green, I finished with a triple bogey. Even worse was the next hole, which I finished in 5 over par, thanks to two consecutive balls pulled straight off the tee.
On hole #6, a 149-yard par-3, I hit a lovely 7-iron flag high, then drained a 12-footer for birdie. Sweet! Another nice shot came on hole #7. My third shot drifted well right of the green, about 60 yards away. I hit a sand wedge over some extremely tall trees and landed pin high on the edge of the green. I made a solid two-putt to save bogey. After nine holes, I was sitting at 48. Not bad.
The tenth hole, a 383-yard par-4 was very frustrating. I hit a beautiful drive, leaving 150 yards to the pin. My 7-iron was flag high, but left of the green by about 15 yards. I had to keep the chip shot low to avoid hitting some tree branches. I was trying to land the ball in the rough about two yards before the green. That would have taken most of the speed off, allowing the ball to pop onto the green comfortably. Unfortunately, the ball carried a few yards too long, taking its first bounce on the green itself. It skidded across the entire green to the opposite rough. I then caught the next chip attempt thin, launching the ball back across the entire green. All of this led to a very unnecessary triple bogey.
On the eleventh hole, a 144-yard par-3, I hit a beautiful 8-iron to the pin, which was tucked in the extreme right portion of the green. I was in definite birdie range, but I hit the putt softly, coming up short. I settled for par. Holes twelve through fourteen were mediocre, resulting in double-bogey, bogey, and double-bogey. The double on #14 was tough to swallow, as my bogey putt was right on the money, but broke hard left at the very last second.
Holes fifteen through eighteen were very good, resulting in par, par, bogey, and par. I hit three fairways in that stretch, which set me up for decent finishes. On hole #17, my par putt barely missed, which was too bad. It would have been nice to finish with four pars in a row.
All in all, it was a good round. Despite pretty bad weather, I emerged with what I consider a respectable score.
Score: 93
Par: 71
Putts: 36
Fairways: 6
Greens: 5
July 13, 2008
Lousy at Lionhead
If you step up to the first tee at a golf course and pull three consecutive balls into irretrievable territory, how do you expect that round to play out? Let me ask the same question in a different way. If you add six strokes to your card before you even tee up your first ball, what kind of score do you think you'll achieve?
If you need me to answer, then you're not a golfer. An idiot perhaps, but not a golfer. That's not to say that golfers can't be idiots. In fact, we may be the biggest idiots of all. Why else would we subject ourselves to this cruel sport, and pay handsomely for the privilege?
The scenario I described took place during my last round at Lionhead Golf & Country Club. It was my first visit to the club and I was playing the Masters course. After I launched the first ball into oblivion, the starter said something about taking a Mulligan. Let me be clear about something. I don't take Mulligans. I may suck as a golfer, but at least I count every stroke I take, including penalties. So thanks very much for the suggestion Mr. Starter, but no thanks.
I could go on an on describing all the terrible shots I had throughout the round, but why bother? What good would that do? I could also cherry pick the few good shots I made and talk about those, but to what end? The fact of the matter is I suck. I have a respectable round once in a blue moon, but it doesn't change the fact that I suck. I can't drive the ball consistently. I can't hit my irons regularly. My chipping and putting comes and goes. I don't have the mental strength to put bad shots behind me. Basically, I suck in every facet of the game.
I play a lot. It makes no difference. I practice. It makes no difference. I take lessons. It makes no difference. I read books, magazines, and other articles. It makes no difference. I buy better equipment. It makes no difference. I watch and listen to those who play better than I do. It makes no difference. Nothing makes a differnce. When you suck, you suck, and that's all there is to it.
So I suck, but at the end of this round I hit a new low. You see, I was playing with a friend of mine, a single-digit handicapper who I've played with many times. In all the times we had played together, I had never given him a single piece of golf advice. I never commented on his setup or swing. I never even suggested what club he should hit, or what line he should take. Why would I? It would make absolutely no sense for a single-digit handicapper to take advice from me, just like it wouldn't make sense for me to accept advice from a 30 handicapper.
For some reason though, I decided this time that I would weigh in on his birdie putt on the eighteenth hole. He had pretty much settled on a line that started the ball one cup width left of the hole. I convinced him that left edge of the cup was enough. He proceeded to hit the ball exactly on the line I suggested, and with perfect weight. Of course, the ball missed just right of the hole. His initial read turned out to be the right one. Thanks to my lousy advice, he finished with a score of 78, instead of 77.
Needless to say, that will be the first and last bit of advice I ever give him. It's bad enough that I poison my own game, there's no need for me to punish those who can actually play.
As an extra slap in the face, my average score is now over 100 for the first time in the 2008 season. It took twenty rounds, but there you go. Pathetic!
Score: 113
Par: 72
Putts: 37
Fairways: 6
Greens: 1
If you need me to answer, then you're not a golfer. An idiot perhaps, but not a golfer. That's not to say that golfers can't be idiots. In fact, we may be the biggest idiots of all. Why else would we subject ourselves to this cruel sport, and pay handsomely for the privilege?
The scenario I described took place during my last round at Lionhead Golf & Country Club. It was my first visit to the club and I was playing the Masters course. After I launched the first ball into oblivion, the starter said something about taking a Mulligan. Let me be clear about something. I don't take Mulligans. I may suck as a golfer, but at least I count every stroke I take, including penalties. So thanks very much for the suggestion Mr. Starter, but no thanks.
I could go on an on describing all the terrible shots I had throughout the round, but why bother? What good would that do? I could also cherry pick the few good shots I made and talk about those, but to what end? The fact of the matter is I suck. I have a respectable round once in a blue moon, but it doesn't change the fact that I suck. I can't drive the ball consistently. I can't hit my irons regularly. My chipping and putting comes and goes. I don't have the mental strength to put bad shots behind me. Basically, I suck in every facet of the game.
I play a lot. It makes no difference. I practice. It makes no difference. I take lessons. It makes no difference. I read books, magazines, and other articles. It makes no difference. I buy better equipment. It makes no difference. I watch and listen to those who play better than I do. It makes no difference. Nothing makes a differnce. When you suck, you suck, and that's all there is to it.
So I suck, but at the end of this round I hit a new low. You see, I was playing with a friend of mine, a single-digit handicapper who I've played with many times. In all the times we had played together, I had never given him a single piece of golf advice. I never commented on his setup or swing. I never even suggested what club he should hit, or what line he should take. Why would I? It would make absolutely no sense for a single-digit handicapper to take advice from me, just like it wouldn't make sense for me to accept advice from a 30 handicapper.
For some reason though, I decided this time that I would weigh in on his birdie putt on the eighteenth hole. He had pretty much settled on a line that started the ball one cup width left of the hole. I convinced him that left edge of the cup was enough. He proceeded to hit the ball exactly on the line I suggested, and with perfect weight. Of course, the ball missed just right of the hole. His initial read turned out to be the right one. Thanks to my lousy advice, he finished with a score of 78, instead of 77.
Needless to say, that will be the first and last bit of advice I ever give him. It's bad enough that I poison my own game, there's no need for me to punish those who can actually play.
As an extra slap in the face, my average score is now over 100 for the first time in the 2008 season. It took twenty rounds, but there you go. Pathetic!
Score: 113
Par: 72
Putts: 37
Fairways: 6
Greens: 1
July 07, 2008
Did I Mention I Love This Game?
Willow Valley
A Duffer's Dream Tour event. I had a fantastic back nine to salvage a respectable score. More later.
Score: 92
Par: 72
Putts: 37
Fairways: 8
Greens: 10
A Duffer's Dream Tour event. I had a fantastic back nine to salvage a respectable score. More later.
Score: 92
Par: 72
Putts: 37
Fairways: 8
Greens: 10
July 06, 2008
Did I Mention I Hate This Game?
It's been a while since I posted anything. Time to catch up. Here are my latest rounds, most recent at the top.
Kedron Dells
Kedron Dells, you are my nemesis. I hate you with a passion. Don't get me wrong, you are a fine course. You provide a great challenge and good value. It's just that you deplete my energy and sap my spirit like no other track. Other courses are more difficult, but you know me much better than they do. You know exactly which buttons to press to knock me off my game. Your torturous tactics are seemingly infinite. When I develop a defense for one of them, you simply employ another.
In spite of your cruelty, I keep coming back. In fact, when I haven't seen you for a while, I look forward to reuniting. Why? Because I want to crush you. I want to pay you back ten-fold for the pain you've caused over the years. I want to dismantle you hole by hole, then stand victoriously over your worthless carcass. And I will. You picked the wrong guy to mess with, Kedron. You thought you were taking advantage of a hapless golfer, out for a stroll on a Sunday afternoon. You're going to regret that choice very soon.
Score: 115
Par: 71
Putts: 37
Fairways: 3
Greens: 1
Bridgewater
I got robbed! You see, if I play a round of golf and collect triple-bogey or worse on only one hole, chances are I have broken 100. That's exactly what happened this time - all but the part about breaking 100. Despite limiting the blowup holes that seem to plague my game, I still did not break the century mark. The reason was that I only had a single par.
The scene of this somewhat unusual round was Bridgewater Country Club, located in Fort Erie, Ontario. It was the first time I had ever played there, but I was optimistic, since it was on the heels of a successful maiden round at Twenty Valley a week earlier. Through the first six holes, I was in a nice little groove. With one third of the round over, I was standing at six over par. Most of those were bogeys, but there was also the lone par of the day and a double-bogey mixed in. The stretch included four consecutive greens in regulation (excellent), but I 3-putt three of those (terrible).
I can't really say the wheels came off the wagon after that nice start. The next six holes, for example, included two bogeys and four double-bogeys. I was playing at a similar level, but my shots started to get a little less precise. I pulled a couple drives to opposite fairways, left a couple approach shots short of the green, had some trouble getting out of a couple of bunkers, and mis-hit a couple chip shots. Nothing was really terrible, just kind of sloppy.
The terrible moment was reserved for hole #14, a 302-yard par-4. I pulled two consecutive shots into the woods using a 3-wood. After that, I put it in the bag in favor of driver, which worked like a charm. The damage was done however, and quintuple-bogey was the result. I rounded out the round with more double bogeys and a bogey. The stretch also included more 3-putts, of which I had seven for the day. So just when I get the driver looking respectable again, my chipping and putting decides to abandon me. Alas, that is the cruelty of golf.
Score: 102
Par: 72
Putts: 41
Fairways: 5
Greens: 5
Twenty Valley
Twenty Valley is a new course for me, so I was looking forward to it. I started out inconsistently, alternating between pars and triple or quadruple-bogeys. The quadruple came on the second hole, with the cup located on a ridiculous part of the green. I mean just a stupid location. Four putts as a result. I settled down on the fifth hole, playing #5 through #9 in six over par. My score after nine was 48, which was respectable for a new course.
On the back nine, I managed no worse than double-bogey on any single hole, but that included just a single par. Four bogeys and four double-bogeys rounded out the other eight holes. My ball striking was OK, but as on the front nine, I could not buy a putt. Come on man, give me a break! This was a well-played round, but there is no real reward when you amass 42 putts over eighteen holes.
Overall, I guess I was happy with my score. Oh yes, the course was very nice too!
Score: 97
Par: 72
Putts: 42
Fairways: 3
Greens: 4
The Highlands
For God's sake, change your name back to Bradford Highlands, will you? There are fifty thousand golf courses called the Highlands throughout the world, it will do you some good to have something more unique. Geez.
I had this round all planned out, shot by shot. I have played it enough that I know all the tricky holes and where all the trouble spots are. On the first hole, for example, you don't want to be anywhere near the right side with your tee shot. I certainly wasn't, launching a drive past the tenth fairway to the left. A nice 8-iron put me to the 100-yard marker, en route to a nice bogey.
On the fourth hole, 324-yard par-4, you don't want to lose a ball to the woods on the left side. To avoid this, I played a conservative 4-iron. Well, I pulled it right into the woods, which led to a triple-bogey. On the sixth hole, a 342-yard par-4, I also hit the very hazard I had planned to avoid. This is a pond on the left side of the fairway. I actually hit it twice, leading to a quadruple-bogey. Aargh! In spite of these bad holes, I played well enough to salvage a 49 after nine holes.
The tenth and eleventh holes killed me, and they're not even hard holes. With the course marshall watching intently, I duffed a 3-wood off the tee on #10. After advancing the ball to the end of the fairway, I duffed a sand wedge in an attempt to hit the green. The end result was triple-bogey. I mis-hit a 3-wood into a creek for my second shot on #11. This too, resulted in a triple-bogey.
Then, I started playing well. I played the next six holes in five over par. Going to the last hole, a 493-yard par-5, all I needed was a triple-bogey or better to break 100. Now, I've been in this position a couple times before on this very golf course, and for some bloody reason, things haven't worked out. Well, I need someone to erase the memory of those occasions, because the very same thing happened again. Talk about mental breakdown. I totally psyched myself out. I finished with a quadruple-bogey for the lovely score of 100. Stupid, stupid stupid!
Score: 100
Par: 72
Putts: 35
Fairways: 3
Greens: 2
Grey Silo
Round Four of the Duffer's Dream Tour took place at Grey Silo, which I had played a couple of times, but not recently. This round flat out sucked. I could not hit anything clean off the tee. It didn't matter if it was driver, 3-wood, or even 6-iron. If the ball was propped on one of those little wooden sticks, it meant I was either slicing it, pulling it, topping it, you name it. On rare occasions when I hit a fairway, it was soon followed by some other type of garbage.
Through fourteen holes, I had already amassed five triple-bogeys, which was enough to send me off the deep end. The fifteenth hole was a quadruple-bogey and the seventeenth alone was seven over par. For speed of play, the Duffer's Dream Tour limits individual hole scores to double par, so this particular hole was scored as five over. Seven over is my estimate of what I would have really scored, had I finished the hole completely.
Grey Silo is a nice course, but if you are striking the ball poorly, it will eat you up. I had nine penalty strokes due to lost balls. That means eighteen strokes just given away with no benefit. I hate that!
Score: 109
Par: 71
Putts: 37
Fairways: 4
Greens: 2
Peninsula Lakes
Round Two of the Deepwoods Tour took place at Pen Lakes. I shot a 91 there earlier this year, so I was feeling confident. I couldn't hit a single club on the driving range, so there was a chink in that confidence. All I could do was go out on the course and see what happened.
We played the Quarry nine first. I played poorly through the first six holes, collecting three triple-bogeys along the way. All of my trouble came off the tee, whether it was a sliced driver, a topped 3-wood, or a pulled 4-iron. Fortunately, I played well over the next three holes, including two par-5 holes and one par-3. The par-3 was the ninth hole, measuring 141 yards. I managed a rare birdie there, for a 48 after nine holes.
Good play continued for the first six holes of the Hillside nine, which I played at six over par. Unfortunately, the seventh and ninth holes killed me. Both resulted in triple-bogeys. On the seventh, I pulled my second shot and it found water. After dropping a ball nearby, I launched a sand wedge over the back of the green. My chip was no good and it was followed by three putts. Yuck! Similar stupidity followed on the last hole of the day.
Score: 97
Par: 71
Putts: 34
Fairways: 1
Greens: 1
Kedron Dells
Kedron Dells, you are my nemesis. I hate you with a passion. Don't get me wrong, you are a fine course. You provide a great challenge and good value. It's just that you deplete my energy and sap my spirit like no other track. Other courses are more difficult, but you know me much better than they do. You know exactly which buttons to press to knock me off my game. Your torturous tactics are seemingly infinite. When I develop a defense for one of them, you simply employ another.
In spite of your cruelty, I keep coming back. In fact, when I haven't seen you for a while, I look forward to reuniting. Why? Because I want to crush you. I want to pay you back ten-fold for the pain you've caused over the years. I want to dismantle you hole by hole, then stand victoriously over your worthless carcass. And I will. You picked the wrong guy to mess with, Kedron. You thought you were taking advantage of a hapless golfer, out for a stroll on a Sunday afternoon. You're going to regret that choice very soon.
Score: 115
Par: 71
Putts: 37
Fairways: 3
Greens: 1
Bridgewater
I got robbed! You see, if I play a round of golf and collect triple-bogey or worse on only one hole, chances are I have broken 100. That's exactly what happened this time - all but the part about breaking 100. Despite limiting the blowup holes that seem to plague my game, I still did not break the century mark. The reason was that I only had a single par.
The scene of this somewhat unusual round was Bridgewater Country Club, located in Fort Erie, Ontario. It was the first time I had ever played there, but I was optimistic, since it was on the heels of a successful maiden round at Twenty Valley a week earlier. Through the first six holes, I was in a nice little groove. With one third of the round over, I was standing at six over par. Most of those were bogeys, but there was also the lone par of the day and a double-bogey mixed in. The stretch included four consecutive greens in regulation (excellent), but I 3-putt three of those (terrible).
I can't really say the wheels came off the wagon after that nice start. The next six holes, for example, included two bogeys and four double-bogeys. I was playing at a similar level, but my shots started to get a little less precise. I pulled a couple drives to opposite fairways, left a couple approach shots short of the green, had some trouble getting out of a couple of bunkers, and mis-hit a couple chip shots. Nothing was really terrible, just kind of sloppy.
The terrible moment was reserved for hole #14, a 302-yard par-4. I pulled two consecutive shots into the woods using a 3-wood. After that, I put it in the bag in favor of driver, which worked like a charm. The damage was done however, and quintuple-bogey was the result. I rounded out the round with more double bogeys and a bogey. The stretch also included more 3-putts, of which I had seven for the day. So just when I get the driver looking respectable again, my chipping and putting decides to abandon me. Alas, that is the cruelty of golf.
Score: 102
Par: 72
Putts: 41
Fairways: 5
Greens: 5
Twenty Valley
Twenty Valley is a new course for me, so I was looking forward to it. I started out inconsistently, alternating between pars and triple or quadruple-bogeys. The quadruple came on the second hole, with the cup located on a ridiculous part of the green. I mean just a stupid location. Four putts as a result. I settled down on the fifth hole, playing #5 through #9 in six over par. My score after nine was 48, which was respectable for a new course.
On the back nine, I managed no worse than double-bogey on any single hole, but that included just a single par. Four bogeys and four double-bogeys rounded out the other eight holes. My ball striking was OK, but as on the front nine, I could not buy a putt. Come on man, give me a break! This was a well-played round, but there is no real reward when you amass 42 putts over eighteen holes.
Overall, I guess I was happy with my score. Oh yes, the course was very nice too!
Score: 97
Par: 72
Putts: 42
Fairways: 3
Greens: 4
The Highlands
For God's sake, change your name back to Bradford Highlands, will you? There are fifty thousand golf courses called the Highlands throughout the world, it will do you some good to have something more unique. Geez.
I had this round all planned out, shot by shot. I have played it enough that I know all the tricky holes and where all the trouble spots are. On the first hole, for example, you don't want to be anywhere near the right side with your tee shot. I certainly wasn't, launching a drive past the tenth fairway to the left. A nice 8-iron put me to the 100-yard marker, en route to a nice bogey.
On the fourth hole, 324-yard par-4, you don't want to lose a ball to the woods on the left side. To avoid this, I played a conservative 4-iron. Well, I pulled it right into the woods, which led to a triple-bogey. On the sixth hole, a 342-yard par-4, I also hit the very hazard I had planned to avoid. This is a pond on the left side of the fairway. I actually hit it twice, leading to a quadruple-bogey. Aargh! In spite of these bad holes, I played well enough to salvage a 49 after nine holes.
The tenth and eleventh holes killed me, and they're not even hard holes. With the course marshall watching intently, I duffed a 3-wood off the tee on #10. After advancing the ball to the end of the fairway, I duffed a sand wedge in an attempt to hit the green. The end result was triple-bogey. I mis-hit a 3-wood into a creek for my second shot on #11. This too, resulted in a triple-bogey.
Then, I started playing well. I played the next six holes in five over par. Going to the last hole, a 493-yard par-5, all I needed was a triple-bogey or better to break 100. Now, I've been in this position a couple times before on this very golf course, and for some bloody reason, things haven't worked out. Well, I need someone to erase the memory of those occasions, because the very same thing happened again. Talk about mental breakdown. I totally psyched myself out. I finished with a quadruple-bogey for the lovely score of 100. Stupid, stupid stupid!
Score: 100
Par: 72
Putts: 35
Fairways: 3
Greens: 2
Grey Silo
Round Four of the Duffer's Dream Tour took place at Grey Silo, which I had played a couple of times, but not recently. This round flat out sucked. I could not hit anything clean off the tee. It didn't matter if it was driver, 3-wood, or even 6-iron. If the ball was propped on one of those little wooden sticks, it meant I was either slicing it, pulling it, topping it, you name it. On rare occasions when I hit a fairway, it was soon followed by some other type of garbage.
Through fourteen holes, I had already amassed five triple-bogeys, which was enough to send me off the deep end. The fifteenth hole was a quadruple-bogey and the seventeenth alone was seven over par. For speed of play, the Duffer's Dream Tour limits individual hole scores to double par, so this particular hole was scored as five over. Seven over is my estimate of what I would have really scored, had I finished the hole completely.
Grey Silo is a nice course, but if you are striking the ball poorly, it will eat you up. I had nine penalty strokes due to lost balls. That means eighteen strokes just given away with no benefit. I hate that!
Score: 109
Par: 71
Putts: 37
Fairways: 4
Greens: 2
Peninsula Lakes
Round Two of the Deepwoods Tour took place at Pen Lakes. I shot a 91 there earlier this year, so I was feeling confident. I couldn't hit a single club on the driving range, so there was a chink in that confidence. All I could do was go out on the course and see what happened.
We played the Quarry nine first. I played poorly through the first six holes, collecting three triple-bogeys along the way. All of my trouble came off the tee, whether it was a sliced driver, a topped 3-wood, or a pulled 4-iron. Fortunately, I played well over the next three holes, including two par-5 holes and one par-3. The par-3 was the ninth hole, measuring 141 yards. I managed a rare birdie there, for a 48 after nine holes.
Good play continued for the first six holes of the Hillside nine, which I played at six over par. Unfortunately, the seventh and ninth holes killed me. Both resulted in triple-bogeys. On the seventh, I pulled my second shot and it found water. After dropping a ball nearby, I launched a sand wedge over the back of the green. My chip was no good and it was followed by three putts. Yuck! Similar stupidity followed on the last hole of the day.
Score: 97
Par: 71
Putts: 34
Fairways: 1
Greens: 1
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