Agony at RedCrest

I've never been stabbed in the heart, but I imagine it feels like my last round of golf at RedCrest, a new course that opened this summer at Cardinal Golf Club.

Through the first six holes, I was even par! My scorecard read par, bogey, birdie, birdie, par, bogey. The par on hole #1 was utter perfection. Hit the fairway, nail the green, lag a putt and tap another in. The bogey on hole #2 was the result of a 3-putt after a good tee shot. The birdie on hole #3 was of the scramble variety. After a pulled tee shot, trees blocked me from going at the flag. All I could do was place the ball about eight yards in front of the green. It worked out well, as I knocked one in from there using the putter!

The bogey on hole #4 was no scramble. It was more like a thing of beauty. Hit the fairway, stick the approach right beside the flag, and sink the putt. Nice! Par on hole #5 was equally fulfilling. Hit the fairway bunker with a tee shot, knock it out 15 yards in front of the green, chip to within three feet and sink the putt. I was robbed a little bit on hole #6, a par-5. I drove the ball into the fairway, then hit a good 3-wood to a bunker fronting the green. The bunker shot sailed way past the flag. I then had another 3-putt for bogey.

The stab to the heart came on hole #7, another par-5. Actually, it was more like eleven stabs to the heart in quick succession. That's how many shots I took to complete the hole. Quickly, here's how it played out: worm-burner off the tee to the start of the fairway, topped 3-wood to a fairway bunker, barely get the ball out, pulled 5-wood to a puddle in a muddy area left of the fairway, penalty stroke for an unplayable ball, approach to a greenside bunker, launched over the green, duffed chip after being informed that my aim is off, chip past the flag, and two putts. Stab, stab, stab, etc.

Of course, I get a triple bogey on the very next hole, a par-5 measuring 148 yards. I hit a good tee shot, but could have used an extra club as my ball failed to clear a bunker fronting the green by a mere yard. It took me three shots to get out of the bunker! The sand in the bunkers at RedCrest is unlike any sand I've played in before. It's very loose and fluffy, but different from the fluffy varieties I've seen before. It seems somewhat unnatural, almost like a manufactured gravel.

I settled down on holes #9 through #13, averaging bogey golf. It wasn't the magic that I experienced through the first six holes, but continuing at that pace would put me near the 90 mark for the round, even with the adventures on holes #7 and #8.

Then came more stabs to the heart, and these would continue for the remainder of the round. I found water off the tee on hole #14, as well as the greenside hazard. Chalk up a couple of penalty strokes and a triple-bogey. An atrocious drive on the next hole, along with a short approach shot and a chip shot that I can't even describe led to a quadruple-bogey. Water came into play twice on hole #16. Two penalty strokes and a triple-bogey was again the result. Oh hole #17, a par-3 measuring 201 yards, I added another penalty stroke en route to a double-bogey. Stab, stab, stab, etc.

And then the cruelty got really bad. I hit a drive on hole #18 that was just three or four yards right of the fairway. When the ball landed, it veered right almost 90 degrees into some rough vegetation! When I walked over to the landing area, I was looking for mounds or other features that might have caused the ball to veer off like that. There was nothing that could possibly cause that, except for a little sign on the cart path at the 200 yard mark. These signs are on every hole at RedCrest, usually at the 100, 150, or 200 yard mark. They are raised wooden signs attached to the cart path. Why they didn't simpy paint the numbers on the path is beyond me. Paint doesn't deflect balls. Geez! I was forced to take a penalty stroke, after which I hit a 5-iron to the side of the green and chipped on.

Now, all I needed was two putts from about 13 feet to salvage a score of 99. I wouldn't be happy with that, but I could live with it. However, one extra stroke (and a score of 100) and I would be livid. I really thought there was no chance I would 3-putt. My first putt was 5 feet short! At that point, I still felt like I would make the next putt. I didn't. I tapped in stroke #100, then promptly tossed my ball into the bushes.

After being bludgeoned repeatedly over five holes, the golf gods decided to inflict one final stab wound. For their final act of violence, they stabbed me deep in the heart, then gave the knife a good wrench to make sure I was done.

I am reeling right now, but don't worry. I'll be back.

UPDATE: A reader pointed out that I should not have taken a penalty stroke on hole #7 after my ball was found in the puddle left of the fairway. The puddle was casual water, from which a player can take relief without penalty. He is absolutely right! As a result, my correct score was actually 99 and all is well in the universe again.

Score: 99
Par: 71
Putts: 35
Fairways: 5
Greens: 5