I went to a couple of golf courses as a single this week and was paired up with another single on both occasions. The contrast between the two experiences was so immense, that it inspired me to write this handy guide for playing with strangers.
The don'ts were inspired partly by the fellow I played with at Kedron Dells Golf Club. Sorry buddy, but you really messed up my game.
Don'ts
1. Talk too much. It's impossible to talk too little when you are paired up with a stranger. If all you did was introduce yourself at the beginning of the round, and thank your partner at the end of the round, most players would be perfectly content. However, it is definitely possible to talk too much. Four and a half hours is a long time to listen to your boring stories, flawed opinions, and mindless rants. Bite your tongue and just play the game.
2. Offer golf advice. You are not a scratch golfer, or even a low handicapper. Even if you are, that doesn't mean you are qualified to provide golf instruction. Leave that to the pros who are paid to do it. Just because you saw an instructor on The Golf Channel tell someone to line up their feet or keep their head down, doesn't mean it applies to your newfound partner. Remember, your name is not Hank Haney, Butch Harmon, David Leadbetter, or Jim McLean.
3. Boast about your game. Honestly, nobody cares that you were driving the ball 330 yards at the range the other day. Did you realize that the driving range was 150 yards wide, and that the wind behind you was steady at 30 km/hr? That's not even mentioning the fact that it likely happened once in 50 attempts. Why not boast about the 49 other shots? Also, don't carry on when you make a nice par - especially if your partner has just made a triple-bogey.
4. Make inappropriate comments. Do not make racist, sexist, or otherwise inappropriate comments of any kind. Your playing partner may not share your particular social, moral, political, or religious beliefs. The golf course is not the place to debate these issues. If you do not enjoy playing a course frequented by ball-hunting enthusiasts who shield themselves from the sun with umbrellas mounted on their pull carts, go play somewhere else.
5. Crack jokes or horse around. Golf may be nothing more to you than an excuse to drink beer and horse around with your buddies, but keep in mind that some people take the game a little more seriously. Have some respect for those who view the game as a personal challenge or as a way to better themselves. If you want to act like a juvenile and chug beer with your pals, do it in your living room while watching the football game.
If you insist on following the don'ts, your unfortunate playing partner may experience something like this:
Score: 119
Par: 71
Putts: 37
Fairways: 2
Greens: 0
The do's were inspired partly by the gentleman I played with at Crosswinds Golf & Country Club. Thank you sir, it was a pleasure.
Dos
1. Exchange small talk. Nobody says you have to take a vow of silence when playing with strangers. A little small talk can actually be quite pleasant. It's okay to ask your partner where they are from, how often they play, and where. You might hear about some good golf courses that way. Later on in the round, you might even ask what your partner does for a living. Of course, the weather is always a good topic for discussion. Just keep it light and not too personal.
2. Focus on your own game. You came to the course to play golf, so worry about your own shots rather than those of your partner. Pick out your targets, judge your distances, evaluate your lies, stay loose, read your putts, and monitor your mental state. Let your partner do all of these things for himself. It's okay to congratulate your partner on a good shot, but don't overdo it. Provide tips or advice only if your partner asks you to.
3. Behave modestly after nice shots. Golf is an emotional game. There are plenty of bad moments, so nobody will fault you for celebrating the good ones. Just keep it at a reasonable level and be conscious of what has happened to your playing partner during the round. If your partner is stringing together a series of triple-bogeys, there's no need to engage in excessive fist-pumping, knee-slapping, or other boisterous hooting and hollering after you make par.
4. Be polite towards other golfers. Have some respect for everyone else who is using the golf course. Be quiet when they are teeing off or taking a shot in the opposite fairway. Help them locate wayward balls if they happen to veer your way. Let players through if they are on a faster pace. Don't run the ball up on players ahead of you or get confrontational. Your partner came to the course to play golf, not to get into a fight because of your antics.
5. Play courteous and ready golf. Tee off first when you have the honour. Keep an eye on your partner's shots and help him/her find any wayward balls. Adhere to the cart rules for the day. Replace your divots. Rake sand traps and repair any ball marks. Pull out the flag and replace it when you finish putting. Pick up your partner's wedge or remind them to get it before they leave the green area. Keep the pace of play moving. Be serious while having fun.
If you do all of these things, your playing partner will be pleased and may experience something like this:
Score: 92
Par: 72
Putts: 34
Fairways: 3
Greens: 4
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